Another year
gone by
different than the last
unforgettable adventures
a world away
a beach and scooter
that was my day
the ocean always called me
inviting me in
warming my soul
breaking my heart
with its beauty
reality set in
shortly after
my bed welcomed me home
until my home
was taken away
and my world
as I knew it
turned upside down
friendships tested
but never broken
except for when they were
Someone had to do it
prepare me
for what was to come
a lifetime of laughter
suddenly gone
blindsided by illusion
and Love
never imagining
you were anything but
Forever
Still trying to fathom
what actually happened
unsure if anything
even did
No man
has ever come close
caused my heart
to cringe in pain
like this
I miss you
everyday
Over and over
the tender age of 27
has tested
what I thought I knew
change has overwhelmed me
unbelievable beauty
has surrounded me
a new home
has found me
my own story
has inspired me
and shattered me
simultaneously
Forced to accept
that people really do
come and go
for reasons
we may not ever know
hatred and violence
exist
too close for comfort
altered my faith
only slightly
but enough
to remind me
it's there
My Life
is amazing
especially when my tears
clear my vision
and I can see
the joy
pain
Love
Laughter
confusion
in front of me
I acknowledge
all of it
appreciate it
Love it
Let it go
I'm ready
to embrace this new year
older
stronger
content
and this past year
of my Life
I say to you
Good Riddance 27
I'm done with you
© Ang Boyce 2011
4/26/11
4/20/11
The Hell Beneath
You don't know me
other than our forgotten meeting
in the courthouse
and the few hallway encounters
where you wouldn't meet
my eyes
because you didn't want me to see
what I already knew
He's back
He hardly ever left
I don't need to know you
to see
when I can hear
the hatred
oozing out of the walls
You are a fighter though
I hear that too
I only wish you knew
that I'm willing you to leave
to find the courage
to Love yourself
and protect yourself
forever
Not just until he comes
banging
on your door
in the middle of the night
or decides
Monday morning
that he has a point to prove
There is nothing
absolutely nothing
that justifies
the stories he leaves
on your body
It's your screams
the bone-chilling kind
that remind me
all too often
Hell lurks beneath me
I've tried to put out the fire
They say I may have saved your life
that cold, festive night
when your pleas
for your life
shook me sober
and I did the only thing I knew
It didn't matter.
I don't know
what lie you've told yourself
to convince you to stay
But I do know
One thing
There is no Love there.
Love
does not throw you against the wall
and shatter your teeth
Love
does not lock you on the balcony
when it's forty below
Love
does not make you sob endlessly
when you won't accept help
You deserve Peace
in your home
and your soul
You deserve Respect
Love
Dignity
Trust
Friendship
A letter from the Board
slipped under my door
someone hears water running
they aren't sure where it comes from
Yet somehow
they all ignore
your screams
I've been told by a few
to just let it go
ignore it
like everyone else does
I wish you knew
my heart breaks for you
I wish I knew
how to help you
I wish the world knew
this ignorance has to stop
© Ang Boyce 2011
other than our forgotten meeting
in the courthouse
and the few hallway encounters
where you wouldn't meet
my eyes
because you didn't want me to see
what I already knew
He's back
He hardly ever left
I don't need to know you
to see
when I can hear
the hatred
oozing out of the walls
You are a fighter though
I hear that too
I only wish you knew
that I'm willing you to leave
to find the courage
to Love yourself
and protect yourself
forever
Not just until he comes
banging
on your door
in the middle of the night
or decides
Monday morning
that he has a point to prove
There is nothing
absolutely nothing
that justifies
the stories he leaves
on your body
It's your screams
the bone-chilling kind
that remind me
all too often
Hell lurks beneath me
I've tried to put out the fire
They say I may have saved your life
that cold, festive night
when your pleas
for your life
shook me sober
and I did the only thing I knew
It didn't matter.
I don't know
what lie you've told yourself
to convince you to stay
But I do know
One thing
There is no Love there.
Love
does not throw you against the wall
and shatter your teeth
Love
does not lock you on the balcony
when it's forty below
Love
does not make you sob endlessly
when you won't accept help
You deserve Peace
in your home
and your soul
You deserve Respect
Love
Dignity
Trust
Friendship
A letter from the Board
slipped under my door
someone hears water running
they aren't sure where it comes from
Yet somehow
they all ignore
your screams
I've been told by a few
to just let it go
ignore it
like everyone else does
I wish you knew
my heart breaks for you
I wish I knew
how to help you
I wish the world knew
this ignorance has to stop
© Ang Boyce 2011
4/18/11
Just Know
I savour
every minute with You
as your lips
form beautiful words
and I watch you
as you lust
after another.
Your gaze
gives you away
no matter what
you say
I know your heart
beats for her
and your soul
screams
for her
So why
don't you just
tell her?
I reach out to you
on this pedestal
that I have placed you on
and with my touch
try to remind you
that you are Love
and that you
deserve
Love.
Not just the mediocre kind
that is based on longing
for what you can't have
or dreaming
of what could Be
even though you are too afraid
to see
I want you to have
the whole show.
The friendship
the passion
the give it your all
kind of Love
breathing Life
into another
reclaiming yourself
inside the soul
of another
kind of Love
The one
who reminds you
that you are complete
on your own
and that her arm
linked in yours
is Fate
caressing your Life.
Don't ever settle
for anything less
For you
My Friend
are Love.
Just know that.
© Ang Boyce 2011
every minute with You
as your lips
form beautiful words
and I watch you
as you lust
after another.
Your gaze
gives you away
no matter what
you say
I know your heart
beats for her
and your soul
screams
for her
So why
don't you just
tell her?
I reach out to you
on this pedestal
that I have placed you on
and with my touch
try to remind you
that you are Love
and that you
deserve
Love.
Not just the mediocre kind
that is based on longing
for what you can't have
or dreaming
of what could Be
even though you are too afraid
to see
I want you to have
the whole show.
The friendship
the passion
the give it your all
kind of Love
breathing Life
into another
reclaiming yourself
inside the soul
of another
kind of Love
The one
who reminds you
that you are complete
on your own
and that her arm
linked in yours
is Fate
caressing your Life.
Don't ever settle
for anything less
For you
My Friend
are Love.
Just know that.
© Ang Boyce 2011
4/11/11
Original Thought
Is anyone even capable of this anymore? Or do we all just listen to what the rest of the world tells us we should be doing, thinking, wearing, buying, and talking about?
Seriously. Grow up. Regain your thoughts and focus them only on things you Love and whatever makes you smile. Don't let your social circle change who you are or ever make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. As long as YOU know who you are, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it or the decisions you make. They may feel the need to tell you all the time, whether it's out of Love or them trying to distract themselves from their own lives, but stay strong and remember who you are.
Seriously. Grow up. Regain your thoughts and focus them only on things you Love and whatever makes you smile. Don't let your social circle change who you are or ever make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. As long as YOU know who you are, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it or the decisions you make. They may feel the need to tell you all the time, whether it's out of Love or them trying to distract themselves from their own lives, but stay strong and remember who you are.
4/7/11
Open Your Eyes
What the hell happened
to the innocence
of the World
To the souls
who live
in this World?
Check out the Beauty
surrounding you
all the time
everywhere you go
Take it in
Breathe it in
Remember it.
Give it the appreciation it deserves.
Remember that
it is really
all you know
and that your Life is just
a facade
An illusion
That only
Love
is Real.
Remember that
We are all one
We are all
Reflections
of Each other
And that we all
already know this.
I will remember
for you
Until you
are ready
to open your eyes
to what is Real.
Reality is not
that shit
you see on T.V.
Or the gossip
we share
round the water cooler
Reality is what
You know inside
What you know
Is True
But have chosen
to forget
As we live
in the Illusion
of the World.
I will Remember
for you
Until you are
Ready
to open your eyes
Open Your Eyes
OPEN YOUR EYES
to what is Real.
Only Love is Real.
Real is Love.
We are Love.
You and Me.
© Ang Boyce 2009
to the innocence
of the World
To the souls
who live
in this World?
Check out the Beauty
surrounding you
all the time
everywhere you go
Take it in
Breathe it in
Remember it.
Give it the appreciation it deserves.
Remember that
it is really
all you know
and that your Life is just
a facade
An illusion
That only
Love
is Real.
Remember that
We are all one
We are all
Reflections
of Each other
And that we all
already know this.
I will remember
for you
Until you
are ready
to open your eyes
to what is Real.
Reality is not
that shit
you see on T.V.
Or the gossip
we share
round the water cooler
Reality is what
You know inside
What you know
Is True
But have chosen
to forget
As we live
in the Illusion
of the World.
I will Remember
for you
Until you are
Ready
to open your eyes
Open Your Eyes
OPEN YOUR EYES
to what is Real.
Only Love is Real.
Real is Love.
We are Love.
You and Me.
© Ang Boyce 2009
4/6/11
Stranger
Stranger
Where are you
I can feel you
calling out to me
in the distance
Your story
is mesmerizing
sending tingles down my spine
We are not strangers
in this vast world
We are family
We are one
I need your presence
to fill me up
and entangle your spirit
with mine
This was meant to be
This chance encounter
That wasn't chance at all
Your screaming whisper
enthralls me
and lifts my heart up
Your inspiration
is inspiring
Let it be the source
of your guidance
Let me be
The one
who reminds you
Everything is happening
As it should
Come together
Come with me
Let's make this
Our reality.
I just realized
This 'stranger'
Is me.
© Ang Boyce 2008
Where are you
I can feel you
calling out to me
in the distance
Your story
is mesmerizing
sending tingles down my spine
We are not strangers
in this vast world
We are family
We are one
I need your presence
to fill me up
and entangle your spirit
with mine
This was meant to be
This chance encounter
That wasn't chance at all
Your screaming whisper
enthralls me
and lifts my heart up
Your inspiration
is inspiring
Let it be the source
of your guidance
Let me be
The one
who reminds you
Everything is happening
As it should
Come together
Come with me
Let's make this
Our reality.
I just realized
This 'stranger'
Is me.
© Ang Boyce 2008
4/5/11
Fear
Why are so many people so afraid of the simplest things? Why do we build walls to protect ourselves from the one thing we all want?
Love.
It is the purest form of truth, the most essential emotion, the base of everything. The human form cannot function without it, yet we try so hard to avoid it sometimes. We try to run from the possibility of forever, the chance of heartbreak, the likeliness of change. Shouldn't we be running towards these opportunities? Wouldn't you rather feel to remind yourself that you're alive and that you have such opportunities? Why are we afraid to take chances on ourselves and others?
Fear is the only reason. Yet Love is all there is, everything else is an illusion, including fear. Love is all there is. Let that sink in for a minute. Anything we could possibly be afraid of is something that only exists within ourselves, something we've created, scenarios that we waste time worrying about rather than enjoying the moment, feeling the emotion, regardless of what it is. It's okay to be angry, sad, hopeful, even scared, because these are emotions that are true and therefore based on Love. But we should never fear what might happen if we let someone in and allow them to Love us. Love is the most natural feeling in the world, and we should bestow it on ourselves and others everyday. I've heard people say, not only to me but to others, that they are so afraid of losing me or not having someone in their life that they would rather keep things the way they are instead of allowing change, but in reality this is an absurd concept. Personally, I would rather take the risk that I may find unconditional Love. Why would anyone waste time worrying about how something might turn out rather than enjoying the moment, often with someone they never expected to feel a certain way about? We must change the way we think and stop assuming that the worst is always going to happen.
If this is a concept that terrifies you, then I strongly suggest you run towards it and embrace it. Discover for yourself how exhilarating it is to feel and you will surely be guided towards Love. Besides, there is no where else to go. Love is our final destination.
Love.
It is the purest form of truth, the most essential emotion, the base of everything. The human form cannot function without it, yet we try so hard to avoid it sometimes. We try to run from the possibility of forever, the chance of heartbreak, the likeliness of change. Shouldn't we be running towards these opportunities? Wouldn't you rather feel to remind yourself that you're alive and that you have such opportunities? Why are we afraid to take chances on ourselves and others?
Fear is the only reason. Yet Love is all there is, everything else is an illusion, including fear. Love is all there is. Let that sink in for a minute. Anything we could possibly be afraid of is something that only exists within ourselves, something we've created, scenarios that we waste time worrying about rather than enjoying the moment, feeling the emotion, regardless of what it is. It's okay to be angry, sad, hopeful, even scared, because these are emotions that are true and therefore based on Love. But we should never fear what might happen if we let someone in and allow them to Love us. Love is the most natural feeling in the world, and we should bestow it on ourselves and others everyday. I've heard people say, not only to me but to others, that they are so afraid of losing me or not having someone in their life that they would rather keep things the way they are instead of allowing change, but in reality this is an absurd concept. Personally, I would rather take the risk that I may find unconditional Love. Why would anyone waste time worrying about how something might turn out rather than enjoying the moment, often with someone they never expected to feel a certain way about? We must change the way we think and stop assuming that the worst is always going to happen.
If this is a concept that terrifies you, then I strongly suggest you run towards it and embrace it. Discover for yourself how exhilarating it is to feel and you will surely be guided towards Love. Besides, there is no where else to go. Love is our final destination.
4/4/11
My True Love
Endless unexplainable emotions
My favourite drug
My natural high
Always there for me
Even after my most neglectful times
Never gives up on me
Even if I have
Total release
Zen-like calm
Forever honest
For I cannot lie
To myself
Although my mind often tries
My heart and my pen
Always prevail
When there's nothing to say
There usually is
Don't hold back
A safe-haven for my thoughts
Conceivable
Or not
Could it be
My true love
In front of me
Available
Waiting
Loving
Not judging
Listening
Encouraging
Unassuming
Free of expectations
Full of Life
Writing.
© Ang Boyce 2011
My favourite drug
My natural high
Always there for me
Even after my most neglectful times
Never gives up on me
Even if I have
Total release
Zen-like calm
Forever honest
For I cannot lie
To myself
Although my mind often tries
My heart and my pen
Always prevail
When there's nothing to say
There usually is
Don't hold back
A safe-haven for my thoughts
Conceivable
Or not
Could it be
My true love
In front of me
Available
Waiting
Loving
Not judging
Listening
Encouraging
Unassuming
Free of expectations
Full of Life
Writing.
© Ang Boyce 2011
4/1/11
I'm Back....and I'm here to Stay
I don't know why I ever stopped writing. I know that writer's block came into play at some point, followed by an overwhelming amount of thoughts and things to say, and countless reminders to myself to write them down (later, of course), and partial laziness mixed with uncertainty of where to possibly begin. After talking to friends who gave me the kick I needed and always reminded me what I already knew, that it didn't matter where I started as long as I did, because there couldn't possibly be any reason that should be causing me to withhold my gift from myself and others.
So here I am. I'm back. I can't promise you I will always have something life-altering to say, but I do promise that I will always say something. My hope is that I may reach someone out there as I Live Out Loud and explore the intricacies of Life and all the amazingly crazy things It has to offer.
Much Love
So here I am. I'm back. I can't promise you I will always have something life-altering to say, but I do promise that I will always say something. My hope is that I may reach someone out there as I Live Out Loud and explore the intricacies of Life and all the amazingly crazy things It has to offer.
Much Love
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